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I want to be just like “him”

I want to look like brad pitt

You know “him”. He’s got it all, he looks great and is not embarrassed to take his shirt off in public. He also doesn’t get all tired and heavy breathing while playing with his kids. After coaching hundreds of clients, I can confidently say: Wanting to be like ‘him’ can either fuel your ambition to strive for a better you or paralyze you completely. Here’s what to do about it.

I want to be just like “him”.

For six years, I’ve been helping people to get fitter, feel better, and improve the quality of their life.

(First in-person, and then online with 1%-ers coaching.)

I’ve coached people with different backgrounds, professions, struggles and starting points.

Interestingly enough, they’ve all wanted one and the same thing:

They all wanted to look just like “him”.

We all know “him”.

He’s great. Worth admiring, even.

He has visible abs, ripped arms, broad shoulders. He plays with his kids for hours without getting puffed out. He is not ashamed of taking his shirt off at the beach.

He might be 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 years old. Regardless of his age, he looks absolutely phenomenal and makes it look effortless, like a piece of cake. He doesn’t have to buy expensive suits to look good, simple V-neck t-shirt does the job for him.

He doesn’t have low-back pain or messed up shoulder. His blood cholesterol is never too high.

He isn’t complaining about the labor-intensive housework that needs to be done, he just does it, effortlessly like anything else he touches.

Anxiety is not feeling he experiences. He’s not having thoughts like if only I could…. He just goes out there and does it.

He doesn’t have knee pain or get out of breath climbing up the stairs. He has his life all figured out and is living it to its full potential.

Adventure is his second nature. Freedom of movement, speech and character. He has it all.

It all started 1999 with Fight Club and Brad Pitt or as we know him from the movie Tyler Durden. Everybody wanted to look like him, act like him and be just like “him”.

(Click on the image above for one of the most memorable scenes from Fight Club)

But it’s not only Brad Pitt.

We can find “him” everywhere around us these days. The Hollywood actors, the cover models from the fitness magazines, or even while scrolling through your social media feed you see “him” starring back at you.

In the park, while waiting for your kid at school or at the last vacation you took with you wife you see “him”.  Sure, he is not as famous and doesn’t look like he is photoshopped from head to toe but he seems to have it all. The looks, the attitude, the charisma.

Let’s be real for a second here. I know you are sometimes hard to yourself. You envy him and think why the hell you are not looking like this.

Why does he have it all together, when you so clearly do not?

Actually, here’s the thing. As a coach, I’ve helped a lot of men look like “him”.

And I will tell you that he doesn’t have it all mapped out.

Before he became “him”, he was where you are right now. His life was all packed with “work”, “stuff” and “busy-ness.”

  • Problems at home
  • pressure at work
  • trying to keep it all together
  • no spare time to focus on himself.

And it wasn’t getting any better by looking at the horizon.

Sure, he makes it look like he is living-the-good life. The dream life. That’s what you see. However before he got where he is today he struggled hard, felt incompetent, and ready to give up on his health and fitness at any given moment.

Now, this might sound weird, but after six years of coaching I’ve seen a lot. When the designer suits or baggy t-shirts come off, guys have to face reality. Measurements don’t lie. They see exactly where they are at. That’s when everyone realizes.. they have to go on a journey that will take time and effort before they can become just like “him”.

When you get in the trenches it looks like everyone else has it easier than you.

They are dropping fat or putting on muscle or getting fitter so much faster and more effortlessly than you are.They all have their shit together. They all have everything you don’t.

It feels like you’re the only one with problems. That it’s much harder for you than for anyone else.

In reality. This is not true.

You see…

No one can escape the reality of everyday chores.

Not Brad Pitt, not Hugh Jackman, not you, no one can.

Being “him” is not like it looks.

We are all human beings with fears, desires, struggles, hopes and imperfections. We all have demanding jobs and family responsibilities. We all struggle with the alarm buzz going off too early, we all have cravings for pizza, burgers and ice cream… we all live in an imperfect world.

That’s the reality.

And once we are brutally honest about where we are currently at and stop worrying about not being fit enough, smart enough or productive enough only then we can start becoming just like “him”.

Want me to show you how it’s done?

1.Set realistic expectations

I will start off by telling you that you can absolutely look like “him”, the guy from the big screen and the covers of the magazines. It’s possible.

The question is, are you ready to make the sacrifice. To put training and nutrition over social events and activities. Because if your desired outcome is “Men-health magazine” type of physique your effort and discipline should match.

And that’s not easy. Giving  up some of your favorite things is hard.

You eat out of Ziploc bags. You track calories for breakfast, lunch and dinner… and don’t forget the mid-day snacks. Food becomes number one priority, you have to train daily and not to forget the 8 hours of recovery every night.

And usually, it’s only those guys who work in an industry that requires them to be in a phenomenal shape that are willing to go through this. Actors, runaway models, fitness competitors, etc. (And even when he looks absolutely incredible, don’t forget that there is always the post-production that makes “him” look even better.)

This look he represents is only maintained for a really short period of time, weeks if not days. It’s not how he looks year round. Media just gives the false perception of it.

Also, his lifestyle is not as glamorous as it looks. Sure you see the best out of it presented in your newsfeed but at the last family party he had to eat 4oz. of cold grilled chicken while everybody else enjoyed wings and chocolate cake. And then when everybody else gathered around the TV to watch the football game he went for his second workout of the day. Talk about fun.

But getting in good shape is definitely worth it. Getting a decent conditioning and fit physique is not that hard either.

Few small tweaks from what you are currently doing and you will be on your journey to look much better. Add 30 minutes of walking daily, maybe few gym sessions a week and eating more veggies. This is a good place to start at.

Getting actor-like physique and conditioning is also possible. More effort will be needed, though. Precise nutrition plan, daily workouts, being cautious with indulgences. If you have enough dedication you’ll get there.

And when the 1%-ers coaching clients of mine are finally able to recognize what is a realistic goal to set and where they want to go, it all becomes black and white for them.

You finally find a realistic role model. Achievable “him”-like version, you can become. You will stop beating yourself up over not being able to be like “him” and you will focus on building healthy habits and positive changes that match your current lifestyle.

2.Seek for “real” people to be your role models

We see all these celebrities on the internet, in the magazines, on TV but we have no idea who they are, what they do and how they feel about it. Hint, it’s usually not as it looks.

Instead, think about the grandfather who goes hiking every weekend and has a lot of energy. How did he manage to stay fit with the aging?

Or about your friend who despite the demanding job and family responsibilities manages to still take care of himself and looks great. How does he manage to do it?

Or the neighbor of yours who is always jogging as you come back from work (and by the way he is always positive and smiling). How does he manage?

Health and fitness is all around us and If you start participating little by little you’ll be surprised how easy it is to be like “him”.

3.Minimum viable fitness

This is a concept often applied in business and in essence it means to do the minimum number of steps to get results. It’s painful as hell to devote months into building something which ends up not working right?

It’s the same with fitness. Small steps and figuring out what works and what doesn’t. I know it doesn’t sound appealing, surely not as “lose 26 pounds in 30 days with this simple trick”. But this is how we get things done and get results.

If you are pressed for time, just do some bodyweight squats and push-ups before you jump under the shower in the morning. 15-minute walk while on your lunch break. A few sets of jumping jacks and high knees while the dinner is preparing. Or few sets of planks while watching your favorite show.

Start where you are at.

Don’t complain about not having time, energy or money to do it. Apply minimalism.

You think dieting is awful? Just focus on fixing this one thing that is staggering your progress the most.

One instead of three beers per night, more green salads, a piece of fruit instead of a dessert.

Focus on this one thing. Nothing else until you master it. And once you’ve got it down, add more healthy habits.

There is no such thing as too “small effort”. Everything counts.

It always starts by putting small things on top of other small things until they pile up and transform into bigger things.

4.Get help from someone and find ways to do it

We are living in the information era. Everything you need to know you can learn in a matter of seconds by typing what you are looking for in the google search box.

But here comes the problem. When it comes to health and fitness everybody and your mom has an opinion on it. Everybody has heard this or that and they religiously preach it with the help of the internet.

Don’t fall for this. Don’t ever trust anything you read on a website, not even this one. Do your research, ask someone who has been in your shoes and is now where you want to go.

Ask your friend Joe what he did when he got that knee pain last year, how did he work around it, what did he do?

Or how Matt kept his lean physique even with two devil of a kids, full-time job, and weekends where he volunteers.

Reach out to a coach and ask him for help, ask how to modify the exercise to achieve the desired outcome you are after.

Hate working out by yourself? Find a partner or join the local fitness club for a group “ab-attack” class.

Can’t find the time? Plan for it. A week ahead, book an appointment with a personal trainer. Find someone to hold you accountable because let’s be honest you’ll bail out on yourself a hundred times with no hesitation. But if you have given your mans’ word to someone, it hurts when you can’t keep it and you’ll do everything within your power to do so.

Trust me it’s hard for everyone, even for “him”. Especially in the early days.

It sucks to be exercising when you are out of shape. People are awful at new sports (I suck really bad at snowboarding), no one can run for hours or squat 300 pounds on their first try.

And it’s usually the guys who do something exceptionally good the ones who’ve asked for help. They reached out to someone who is better than them and followed his footstep. This is the easiest way to go with it. This is what I call a “shortcut”.

And until we face our limitations and embrace them we don’t get better, we don’t advance. We get stuck.

And the solution for that is to ask for help and most importantly accept it. Don’t be one of those guys who asks for advice, and then does the complete opposite.

Leave your ego at the door and be ready to learn.

Start small, and make adjustments down the road. Don’t try to fix it all at once.

Realization of your inability to do everything by yourself and asking for help is what takes courage. Facing reality is a much manlier approach than living In dreamland.

5. Embrace the struggle

You will struggle that’s a given. Daily annoyances will be part of your journey – you will be tempted to quit at times, to throw in the towel and go back to your old habits because it is just too overwhelming.

That’s being a human.

Life is a complex experience. And wanting to be perfect and have it all together is just impossible. You can’t have “all the toys”.

Even the perfect guys that you see, they also have struggles, you just might not see it.

For instance:

34% of the people I have coached have some type of injury and struggle with pain.

40% of them take medication pills.

25% of my male clients are over 40 and that brings complications as the human body starts to operate differently after a certain age.

Also, almost all of my clients struggle with finding time for their health. Their schedules are packed with “stuff”, “busy-ness” and stress.

And also there are many challenges that you can’t see by observation. It all looks easy and effortless from the bench but that’s simply not true. We all go through difficulties.

I too struggle with injuries and pain. I also find it hard to workout sometimes. I also struggle with eating right when I’m presented with the option to have a delicious juicy burger (I’m guilty, I often go for the burger).

I’m also drinking every now and then.

I struggle with my weight, gaining too much fat or being scrawny after a week of not working out.

And I definitely struggle the most with the “get it all done” syndrome.

No matter how someone looks today, you never know what he has been through or is still going through. We all try our best to go against the current. The constant stream of events that take our focus away from being healthier and fitter.

Our lives are imperfect and so will be your journey. And if you want to be your own version of “him” you have to accept this.

What should you do next?

Most of the men I’ve coached spend a lot of time thinking about already being like “him”. And instead of being inspired, they get discouraged. They don’t look at how far they’ve come but how far the end objective is.

1.Failure is your friend

Most of the people I work with have failed prior becoming a 1%-er. They have tried getting in shape at some point in their lives but couldn’t achieve the results they were after.

For men especially, that could be really annoying. They’ve been successful in all other areas in life and now they are pissed that they fail.

But it’s crucial to accept any fitness failure as a feedback. The feedback that can be applied to future attempts and help you succeed this time.

What have you done thus far? What did work? What didn’t work?

I’m really big on having my clients understand the whole process of getting fit. That’s why I cover all the topics of nutrition, training, and mindset extensively in my premium program targeted specifically at busy men who are after the fit impactful look.

Once you understand the process you can get results on demand. You have the ownership of how your body looks.

2.What will you get once you become like “him”?

Keep your eyes on the prize. How your life will change once you achieve the results  you are after? How are you going to feel?

That’s how you are going to look like in a couple of months if you go after your goal.

3.Tweak your way to success

Some strategies will work, other won’t. You will have to try and test it yourself and focus on the things that bring you results. Start today.

One thing at a time. Tweak the process until you get it down. And once  you do, just keep at it. Day after day, week after week, month after month until you are “him” and people look up to you.

4.Start acting more like “him” and less like you

Adopt the confidence he has. Believe that it is possible for you to have the things he has. Don’t stress over things and improve little by little.

Sure you can’t lose 30 pounds for a week or get abs overnight. But if you adopt health-focused habits and apply them little by little over time you will see a progress in a big way.

Want me to help you personally?

With the 1% coaching, I give men and women the support they need to achieve their health and fitness goals.

The world of fitness and nutrition can be a confusing place but it doesn’t have to be that way. Once you get my personalized attention you will take a “shortcut” on your journey to a healthy, energetic and capable to do more you.

I will soon be opening 1%-ers coaching for a few clients. So if you are interested in working with me personally apply for a coaching consultation by clicking on the box below.

Simeon Krastev About Simeon Krastev

Simeon is a fitness coach with a unique perspective on training and nutrition. For the past six years, he’s been helping busy people achieve an impactful fit look without putting their life on hold. Stay in touch by connecting with him on LinkedIn.

 

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